Leave And Cleave!

Hello Guys and Gals,

Have you ever considered what it means to 'Leave and Cleave'? In Matthew 19:5-6, Jesus speaks about this:

5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. ~ KJV

When a man and woman join together in marriage, they both are instructed to leave their former relations behind and join themselves to their new relation of their spouse so tightly that the two are now considered one. I have been thinking upon this for some time now. I know most of us think of this as leaving their parents and brothers and sisters behind to become married to their new spouse so that they can form a family together. But I think it goes a bit deeper than that.

Before I get to the deeper aspect of this command, let's take a close look at what the command is like under the popular view of marriage. When a man, or woman, enters into a covenant relationship with their new spouse, they are to leave behind their parents and brothers and sisters, right? But what if they do not? They still remain tied to their old relationships and still yearn for and desire to depend upon their parents and brothers and sisters when trouble comes. Well, trouble comes and instead of the man and woman depending upon each other for an answer to their solution, you have one or both of them returning to their family for support and/or a solution to their problem. Say that one family has money and can easily afford to help out the newlyweds, and do so. Then the one, whose family did not help, becomes a touch jealous, yet also relieved, that the problem was solved by the other's family. Well the two people who were joined did not face this trouble on their own and did not depend upon each other for their own security in this problem. Eventually, jealousy rears it's ugly head and they end up fighting over going to the other's family for help when they were just trying to help. Basically, the newlyweds had a chance of growing stronger together as a single unit, or family, and instead of doing so, one or both of them depended on their family for the strength to solve the problem at hand. In the end, you have a marriage which is loosely bound together and eventually ends in divorce; much like many marriages today do!

Earlier in this post I quoted from the King James Version so that we could see where the term, 'Leave and Cleave', comes from. I'd like to take a look at those same verses again in the English Standard Version which I believe gives the clearest meaning in our modern day English language of what it means to Leave and Cleave. Here are the verses again:

5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” ~ ESV

In this translation or version of the scripture, we see that when you leave the father and mother you are to 'hold fast' to the spouse of whom you left your family to join. Hold fast: An interesting concept! Think about how this worked before the modern age of telephones and automobiles and jet airliners and things which allow you to communicate or travel long distances in very short periods of time. When a man, or woman, left their family, they left and were unable to stay in close communication with them and had no choice but to hold fast to their new spouse if they were to find success in their new marriage. They could not easily turn to their parents for help. They could not go stay at their parent's house because of an argument and cool off. They did not have close communication and so, if they did not hold fast to their new spouse, then they would be either a far distance, or unable to communicate with those they wanted to in order to solve their problems. They had NO CHOICE but to work it out with each other and grow stronger as a family and learn to depend wholly upon each other so that they could be seen as a single family, one unit, in the eyes of the world.

Now, let's take a look at the deeper level of meaning which I was referring to. Were you aware that the Church is considered the Bride of Christ Jesus? Doesn't Jesus refer to the Church as being the Bride in his telling of the Parable of the Ten Virgins as seen in Matthew Chapter 25:

1 “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. 5 As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. 6 But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ 7 Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for us and for you, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. 11 Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ 12 But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ 13 Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour. ~ ESV

The deeper aspect of meaning to the principle of Leave and Cleave that I am referring to is this worldly realm compared to the Heavenly realm! When we become Christians, or give ourselves to Jesus Christ by seeking forgiveness for our sins, we become the Bride of Jesus Christ as we become a member of the Body of Christ, otherwise known as the Church of Jesus Christ. If we, being the Bride of Christ, are meant to Leave and Cleave for our marriage to Jesus, what exactly are we leaving and what exactly are we cleaving to? We are leaving all the worldly relations we now have for that greater relation with Jesus Christ. Jesus testifies to the reward of those who leave their family and riches for his name's sake in Matthew 19:29 as it is shown here:

29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. ~ ESV

The Apostle Paul as much as declares it boldly in the following passage:

29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. - Ephesians 5:29-32 ~ ESV

So my question to you tonight is simple: have you left all of everything: your former relations, your riches, your homes, your hobbies, your sports trophies, your accolades, your desires, and all your dreams; behind to hold fast to your new marriage with your new groom, Jesus Christ, who gave his very life to enter into this covenant with you? If you haven't, maybe consider what you haven't given up so that you can move into that deeper relationship with Jesus Christ!

May the Lord Jesus Christ indwell each and every one of you who reads these words to the saving grace of salvation!